Anxiety Program
Remuda Life
Spring 2005, Volume 4, Issue 2
Spiritual Assessment and Treatment Strategies
Religious Abuse
Finding a Healthy Church Community
In the first issue of The Remuda Review, Fall 2002, we explained the basics of a scientifically-valid and Biblically-based bio-psycho-social-spiritual model of eating disorder conceptualization and treatment. Since that initial issue, we have journeyed, issue by issue, through this model, until the current publication, where we conclude our discussion of the spiritual aspect of eating disorders. The articles in the current issue offer practical guidance on spiritual assessment and treatment for use by counselors and pastors in hands-on clinical work.
Through a series of 11 issues, taken together, The Remuda Review has now articulated in detail how to approach eating disorder conceptualization and treatment within a bio-psycho-social-spiritual model. We hope this series of publications will prove to be a long-lasting and valuable resource foundation for those concerned with eating disorders.
Beginning with the next issue, expected during the Summer of 2005, The Remuda Review will begin a second series of issues focusing on critical co-occurring problems faced by eating disorder clients and their caregivers. We will begin this series with an issue focusing exclusively on self-harm behavior. We choose this as a starting point for two reasons. First, self-harm behavior has become an epidemic among eating disorder patients. Second, Remuda has developed cutting-edge interventions that have proven successful in dramatically reducing self-harm among eating disorder clients.
Editorial Staff
Spiritual Assessment and Treatment Strategies
Robert A. Darden, PhD
Department of Psychological Services
Remuda Ranch Programs for Anorexia and Bulimia
In recent years the healthcare community has come to recognize that spirituality plays a role in recovery from medical and mental illness and the promotion of physical and mental well-being (e.g., Gartner, Larson, & Allen, 1991; Gunderson, 2000; Larson, Swyers & McCullough, 1998; Levin, 1994; Worthington, Kurusu, McCullough, & Sandage, 1996). For example, Larson and colleagues reviewed 300 studies on the relationship between religious factors and psychopathology and found considerable evidence for a positive relationship between religious participation and mental well-being (Larson, Swyers, & McCullough, 1998). Equally important, healthcare recipients desire opportunities for their spiritual beliefs to be addressed by their providers. A 2000 Gallup poll found that 86% of Americans believe in God and an additional 8% believe in a higher power. Accordingly, surveys by USA Today and Time Magazine indicate that 2/3 of Americans would like their healthcare providers to address religion with them, and 1/2 even want their doctors to pray with them (Gunderson, 2000). In keeping with these data, treatment providers are becoming increasingly aware of the need to address patient spirituality (Hodge, 2001; Richards & Bergin, 1997).
Richards and Bergin (1997) suggest that a spiritual assessment should be part of a multi-model assessment with each patient. Consistent with its bio-psycho-social-spiritual model, Remuda has been incorporating careful spiritual assessment into its programs for many years. Richards and Bergin (1997) indicate that, in addition to traditional components of an assessment, healthcare providers do well to conduct a spiritual assessment through broad and ecumenical inquiries using language that is devoid of denominational terms and underpinnings. It is often useful to begin by obtaining information about patients’ spiritual beliefs and practices, along with religious participation. Other areas of inquiry to consider include congruency of patient’s lifestyle with their values, history of religious experiences and relationships, issues pertaining to shame, guilt, and performance, and the concept of forgiveness. Of course, information regarding patients’ willingness to address spiritual and religious issues should also be included. Then, depending on the information obtained during the initial assessment process, clinicians can proceed with more in-depth assessment if significant spiritual issues appear to be present with particular patients.
A spiritual assessment can also include objective measures. In fact, numerous measures of spirituality have been developed and can be found in the literature. However, many have theoretical and/or psychometric weaknesses (Hall, Tisdale, and Brokaw, 1994; Hill and Hood, 1999). Others are limited by a narrow scope of questions (e.g., Standard, Sandu, & Painter, 2000). Consequently, Remuda Ranch developed the Remuda Spiritual Assessment Questionnaire (RSAQ; Wall, Cumella, & Darden, 2003). The RSAQ represents a broad spectrum of clinically meaningful spiritual beliefs and experiences, fully addresses psychometric considerations in design features and in the demonstration of instrument reliability and validity, and can be used to assess spiritual growth and change through repeated administrations during the course of treatment. It is also relatively short and easy to administer: 41 questions, taking 10-15 minutes for the average patient to complete, and not requiring clinician involvement to administer. Scoring and interpretation are automated.
There are several advantages to using an objective assessment of patient spirituality. First, a properly selected objective assessment is comprehensive and thorough, reflecting more questions and domains of spirituality than it is possible to review quickly through face-to-face clinical assessment. As such, an objective assessment may have a greater likelihood of discovering areas of spiritual concern. Research suggests that, especially early in treatment, patients may be more likely to reveal difficult experiences through paper-and-pencil tests than in face-to-face interactions with clinicians. Finally, objective assessments are just that—objective. They reveal the extent to which specific issues are causing distress to an individual when compared with the “average” person. Thus, they may make it easier to determine how much attention a spiritual concern merits during time-limited therapy.
Remuda Spiritual Assessment Questionnaire
The lead developer of the RSAQ was a doctoral-level licensed psychologist with an additional Master’s Degree in theology and extensive clinical experience with spiritual integration. Others experienced in mental healthcare, including two additional doctoral-level licensed psychologists, also contributed. Combining the knowledge of these experts, a 41-question version of the RSAQ was designed to reflect the broad, multidimensional construct of spirituality plus three important dimensions of spirituality (see below).
Because 86% of the US population self-identifies as Christian (Kosmin & Lachman, 1993), the authors wrote questions to be most meaningful and conceptually appropriate to this large majority of Americans. The authors also believed it important to develop a questionnaire that any English-speaking person could use. As such, two versions of the RSAQ were developed. The Christian version includes such words as “Bible”, “Jesus Christ”, and “church”. A parallel, interfaith version uses words such as “spiritual texts”, “higher power”, and “religious service”.
Between 6/1/1999 and 6/30/2002, RSAQ data were collected from 1,905 mental health patients. A normative sample of 208 non-patient women and men also completed the RSAQ. A random sample of 50 individuals from the normative population were asked to complete a second RSAQ one week following their initial testing. Using these data, great attention was paid to item-selection, reliability demonstrated through item stability and internal consistency, and validity demonstrated through criterion-related, construct, convergent, and discriminant methods. For psychometric details, see Wall, Cumella, and Darden, 2003.
The RSAQ reflects the broad, multidimensional construct of spirituality, and examines three specific domains which have been found by the authors and their colleagues to be particularly relevant when working with thousands of mental health patients. As such, the RSAQ produces the following scores:
Total Spirituality Index, indicating either: a) overall spiritual well-being, including positive spiritual attitudes, beliefs, and experiences, or b) overall spiritual distress, including negative spiritual attitudes, beliefs, and experiences.
Current Spiritual Wellness, indicating either: a) current spiritual well-being, typically including intimacy with God and supportive spiritual relationships, meaningful spiritual practices, faith as a source of strength, a clear spiritual identity, the experience of spiritual joy, and a desire to grow spiritually, or b) spiritual distress, typically including distance from and disappointment with God, unsupportive spiritual relationships, meaningless or absent spiritual practices, a lack of spiritual joy, and little interest in growing spiritually.
Experiences of Shame and Judgment, indicating either: a) the extent to which patients have beliefs and experiences of an accepting, forgiving, and unconditionally loving God, as well as accepting and supportive relationships with other people, or b) beliefs and experiences of a judgmental and condemning God who does not easily forgive human frailty or weakness but expects perfect works before offering love, as well as stringent expectations and judgments from other people.
Past Spiritual Experiences, indicating either: a) childhood experiences of spiritual warmth, love, and grace in one’s family and place of worship, or b) childhood experiences of spiritual abuse and self-righteousness in one’s family and place of worship.
For each of these scales, spiritual distress may be mild, moderate, severe, or extreme.
The RSAQ has been useful at Remuda, in other facilities, and among outpatient practitioners in conducting spiritual assessments with patients, clients, and church members. Both scale scores and individual questions from the RSAQ can be used as part of treatment planning. It is not uncommon, for example, for eating disorder patients to score high on Experiences of Shame and Judgment. With this information available, treatment teams are better equipped to address the cluster of related issues—shame, forgiveness, grace, and the patient’s view of God as judgmental verses unconditionally loving and forgiving. Cognitive therapy may be combined with religious or spiritual interventions. For example, cognitive disputation of distressing beliefs, and the reframing of perceptual schemas, might be sought through reading and memorization of appropriately selected Scriptures (e.g., 1 John 1:9, Jeremiah 29:11). For more details on cognitive distortions common to patients with eating disorders, see Spiritual Development: Growing in God’s Love, appearing in the previous issue of The Remuda Review.
Treatment Strategies
Spiritual interventions are contraindicated when patients do not want them or are psychotic or delusional. If spiritual interventions are warranted, it is important to inform patients at the start of treatment that you may use spiritual interventions and to obtain their informed consent, in writing if possible. Spiritual interventions are most effective once time has allowed for the development of a trusting therapeutic relationship. It is always essential to work within a patient’s value framework. However, as Christian counselors we have an obligation to express the commonly understood, interdenominational Gospel truth, including Christ’s atoning sacrifice, forgiveness rather than punishment, and God’s unconditional, unmerited grace and love rather than legalism, performance, or the need for perfection.
Primary spiritual interventions for patients with eating disorders include:
Teaching spiritual concepts
Spiritual bibliotherapy
Prayer with patients
Spiritual imagery and meditation
Encouraging forgiveness
Referrals for spiritual counsel from pastors or spiritual directors
Encouraging involvement in a faith community
Cognitive restructuring focusing on: Self hatred or perfectionism as obstacles to receiving God’s love, The nature of God, A mature understanding of suffering, and Application of patients’ values to their own lives to reduce cognitive dissonance
Self-help groups, such as Christian Recovery International or Survivors of Spiritual Abuse, may also be recommended for patients emerging from backgrounds of religious abuse. As a part of treatment, it may be necessary to guide patients toward finding healthy faith communities. For more information on this process, see the companion article, Finding A Healthy Church, in the current issue of The Remuda Review.
References
Gallup, G. (2000). The Gallup Poll: Public Opinion 1999. Wilmington, DE: Scholarly Resources.
Gartner, J., Larson, D. B., & Allen, G. D. (1991). Religious commitment and mental health: A review of the empirical literature. Journal of Psychology and Theology, 19, 6-25.
Gundersen, L. (2000). Faith and healing. Annals of Internal Medicine, 132, 169-172.
Hall, T.W., Tisdale, T.C., & Brokaw, B.F. (1994). Assessment of religious dimensions in Christian clients: A review of selected instruments for research and clinical use. Journal of Psychology and Theology, 22, 395-422.
Hill, P.C. & Hood, R.W. (Eds.). (1999). Measures of religiosity. Birmingham, AL: Religious Education Press.
Hodge, D.R. (2001). Spiritual assessment: A review of major qualitative methods and a new framework for assessing spirituality. Social Work, 46, 203-214.
Kosmin, B.A., & Lachman, S.P. (1993). One nation under God: Religion in contemporary American society. New York: Harmony Books.
Larson D.B., Swyers, J.P., & McCullough, M.E. (Eds). (1998). Scientific Research on Spirituality and Health: A Consensus Report. Rockville, MD: National Institute for Healthcare Research.
Levin, J. S. (1994). Religion and health: Is there an association, is it valid, and is it causal? Social Science and Medicine, 38, 1475-1482. Richards, P.S., & Bergin, A.E. (1997). A spiritual strategy for counseling and psychotherapy. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
Standard, R.P., Sandhu, D.S., & Painter, L.C. (2000). Assessment of spirituality in counseling. Journal of Counseling and Development, 78, 204-210.
Wall, A.D., Cumella, E.J., & Darden, R.A. (2003). Remuda Spiritual Assessment Questionnaire Version 1.0. Wickenburg, AZ : Remuda Ranch Center for Anorexia and Bulimia, Inc.
Worthington, E. L., Kurusu, T. A., McCullough, M. E., & Sandage, S. J. (1996). Empirical research on religion and psychotherapeutic processes and outcomes: A 10-year review and research prospectus. Psychological Bulletin, 119, 448-487.
Religious Abuse
Edward J. Cumella, PhD
Department of Research and Education
Remuda Ranch Programs for Anorexia and Bulimia
Woe to the shepherds of Israel… You have not strengthened the weak or healed the sick or bound up the injured… You have ruled them harshly and brutally. Ezekiel 34:1-5
Religious abuse is as old as humankind. It first appeared in the garden of Eden when Satan twisted God’s words and persuaded Adam and Eve to listen to him rather than God. This primeval event epitomizes all religious abuse.
Religious abuse occurs across denominations, in non-denominational churches, and across faiths—Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, et al. It normally does not arise from the beliefs of any particular religion, but from the personality pathology of individual religious leaders. Those with certain Axis II features—particularly narcissistic, antisocial, obsessive-compulsive, borderline, paranoid, and histrionic—are at greatest risk of becoming religiously abusive toward those whom they lead. For more details on these personality disorders, see Millon et al. (2004). Leaders with these personality issues have serious emotional, relationship, and cognitive difficulties that engender a distorted understanding of the Bible, theology, and church relationships. The distortions can sometimes be so significant that church members are seriously harmed.
Christians believe that human beings literally have a spirit—an aspect of our being that connects us to God. Religious abuse interferes with this connection. Religious abuse includes a range of actions by pastors, counselors, and other people that harm our relationship with God and/or separate us from him. Since human identity arises from knowing who we are in relation to God, religious abuse also harms our self-concept and sense of personal value. In addition, religious abuse often includes both mental and emotional abuse. In the most severe instances, it involves physical and sexual abuse rationalized by the abuser as God’s will through distorted interpretations of Scripture or sacred texts.
For those who may not believe in the existence of a literal human spirit, religious abuse can be readily conceptualized in terms of the clear emotional and mental abuse which it inevitably entails, as well as any physical or sexual abuse present in the most extreme instances.
Victims of religious abuse can suffer profound, negative consequences. As such, religious abuse can be a legitimate focus of care for counselors or pastors. It is important to note that religious abuse often includes acts—such as the mental, emotional, physical, and sexual abuse, or even neglect, of children—that professionals are legally bound to report to state child protection agencies. Where religious abusers are themselves licensed or certified counselors or pastors, professionals should also report the abuser’s actions to licensing boards or church and denominational oversight authorities.
For various reasons, religious abuse is usually more serious in churches than counseling settings. Pastors, ministers, priests, and other church leaders are typically regarded with high degrees of respect, even reverence, and may wield substantial authority in believers’ lives. Church leaders offer authoritative teachings covering issues critical to daily life—e.g., marriage, sexuality, relationships, finances, childrearing. Churches are also communities in which membership offers an experience of belonging, fellowship, and support. Along with these benefits comes social pressure. If abuse takes places in this context, many aspects of a person’s life can be negatively impacted. As such, this article primarily considers religious abuse in a church context.
The Bible teaches us about religious abuse. Perhaps the most important passages appear in Matthew 23 and Luke 11, where Jesus issues a series of “woes” to the Pharisees—religious leaders of his time. In many ways, the Pharisees are paragons of the religiously abusive leader. Their behavior evidences Axis II features.
Religious abuse is best understood as a continuum. Some churches may be virtually free of religious abuse; others may be occasionally and mildly abusive; still others may abuse their members frequently and with great intensity. The subjective experience of religious abuse is also related to the mental and emotional functioning of each individual. Certain individuals—e.g., those with perfectionistic traits or prone to obsessions and compulsions, fear, and/or low self-esteem—are apt to interpret teachings legalistically or as condemnation. Others in the same church and hearing the same teachings might not experience trauma.
When we search the Bible, we find that religious abuse includes one or more of the following 12 features.
Authoritarianism: A subtle shift occurs in the messages of abusive leaders. Instead of urging believers to obey God, these leaders are so convinced that they are exercising God’s authority that they expect believers to obey them. Likewise, abusive leaders also fully expect that church leadership bodies and other associate ministers/pastors/deacons will fully support the leaders’ intentions instead of offering input and accountability. Accordingly, a Bible verse frequently repeated by religiously abusive leaders is Hebrews 13:17, “Obey your leaders and submit to their authority.” Leaders with narcissistic, antisocial, obsessive-compulsive, and paranoid personality traits are most likely to engage in this form of religious abuse. Christ’s words make plain that authoritarianism has little place in his church: "But you are not to be called 'Rabbi,' for you have only one Master and you are all brothers. And do not call anyone on earth 'father,' for you have one Father, and he is in heaven. Nor are you to be called 'teacher,' for you have one Teacher, the Christ. The greatest among you will be your servant. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted” (Matthew 23:8-12).
Coercion: Instead of honoring the personal freedom and conscience of believers, as God does, with teachings that convince the mind because of their Biblical accuracy and logic, abusive leaders will use any tactic at their disposal to coerce believers into disregarding their better judgment and meeting the leaders’ demands. Leaders with antisocial, narcissistic, and obsessive-compulsive personality traits are most likely to engage in this form of religious abuse. God’s word makes plain that coercion has little place in the church: “But the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. For some men, straying from these things, have turned aside to fruitless discussion, wanting to be teachers of the Law, even though they do not understand either what they are saying or the matters about which they make confident assertions” (1 Timothy 1:5-7; New American Standard).
Intimidation: Instead of offering Christ, whose yoke is easy and whose burden is light, and emphasizing the covenant of forgiveness, abusive leaders routinely threaten punishment, disfellowshipping, and excommunication, and raise the specter of eternal condemnation in an effort to force believers into submission and continued church membership. Leaders with narcissistic, antisocial, and paranoid personality traits are most likely to engage in this form of religious abuse. Christ’s words make plain that intimidation has little place in his church: “Woe to the shepherds of Israel… You have ruled them harshly and brutally” (Ezekiel 34:1-5).
Terrorism: Instead of inviting people to follow Christ with the Gospel of love, abusive leaders terrorize believers by manipulating their fears, shame, and guilt. They overemphasize that believers’ problems have arisen because of believers’ sins, without offering believers a corresponding message of redemption and deliverance through Christ. Leaders with narcissistic, antisocial, borderline, paranoid, histrionic, and obsessive-compulsive personality traits are most likely to engage in this form of religious abuse. Christ’s words make plain that terrorism has little place in his church: “Woe to the shepherds of Israel… You have not strengthened the weak or healed the sick or bound up the injured. You have not brought back the strays or searched for the lost…” (Ezekiel 34:1-5).
Condemnation: Instead of heeding Christ’s admonition, “judge not lest ye be judged,” abusive leaders make a point of condemning those who leave their church, outsiders, and whomever else they define as sinners. Such leaders teach that believers will join the ranks of the condemned if they deviate from the leaders’ teachings or leave the leaders’ church or denomination. Individual church members are scapegoated when problems arise in the church. Leaders with narcissistic, antisocial, borderline, paranoid, histrionic, and obsessive-compulsive personality traits are most likely to engage in this form of religious abuse. Christ’s words make plain that condemnation has little place in his church: "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:1-4).
Classism: Christ was no respecter of persons. Nevertheless, abusive leaders are preoccupied with power, promoting church hierarchy, referring to and treating people according to their titles and roles. Those lower on the hierarchy are taught that their needs are less important. Leaders with narcissistic, antisocial, and obsessive-compulsive personality traits are most likely to engage in this form of religious abuse. Christ’s words make plain that classism has little place in his church: "Woe to you Pharisees, because you love the most important seats in the synagogues and greetings in the marketplaces” (Luke 11:43). "Everything they do is done for men to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long; they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; they love to be greeted in the marketplaces and to have men call them 'Rabbi'” (Matthew 23:5-7).
Conformity: Abusive leaders usually exert the greatest influence over inexperienced, naïve, and dependent individuals who are seeking a strong leader. These individuals suppress their objections to the leader’s teachings for fear of being shamed or rejected by the leader or ostracized by the church community. Because of this self-censorship, abusive churches may appear unified. Yet there is often much discontent, anguish, whispering, and secrets hidden beneath the veneer of unity, with many members wanting to leave. Leaders with narcissistic, antisocial, paranoid, and obsessive-compulsive personality traits are most likely to engage in this form of religious abuse. Although true unity in the spirit is Christ’s will for his church—“May they be brought to complete unity” (John 17:23)—disagreements do occur. Scripture indicates that pastors must be confronted when their teachings deviate from sound Biblical doctrine: “When Peter came to Antioch, I (Paul) opposed him to his face, because he was clearly in the wrong” (Galatians 2:11-12).
Manipulation: Instead of interpreting the Bible with the Bible, according to long-held Christian beliefs, and in context, abusive leaders manipulate Scriptures so that they appear to endorse the leaders’ personal opinions. Leaders with narcissistic, antisocial, borderline, and paranoid personality traits are most likely to engage in this form of religious abuse. God’s word makes plain that manipulation of Scripture has little place in the church: "Woe to you experts in the law, because you have taken away the key to knowledge. You yourselves have not entered, and you have hindered those who were entering” (Luke 11:52). “…ignorant and unstable people distort … Scriptures, to their own destruction” (2 Peter 3:16).
Irrationality: Because abusive leaders twist the Scriptures, their various interpretations of Scripture may contradict one another. Interpretations may even contradict reason and reality. To remain in such churches, members must suspend critical thinking. Some abusive leaders claim to receive messages directly from God about their church or individual members. These messages usually diverge from Scripture and reality. Some engage in a self-proclaimed “healing ministry,” where church members are pressured into dramatic confessions of sin and professions of deliverance that are highly exaggerated and have little lasting effect in believers’ lives. Leaders with narcissistic, antisocial, borderline, paranoid, and histrionic personality traits are most likely to engage in this form of religious abuse. God’s word makes plain that irrationality has little place in the church: “For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints” (1 Corinthians 14:33; King James Version).
Legalism: Abusive leaders do not extend much grace. Instead, they communicate that one’s value and the amount of love one should receive depend on performance and position in the church. As such, abusive leaders expect church members to make extreme sacrifices of money, time, and energy for the church. Leaders with antisocial, borderline, paranoid, and obsessive-compulsive personality traits are most likely to engage in this form of religious abuse. Christ’s words make plain that legalism has little place in his church: "Woe to you Pharisees, because you give God a tenth of your mint, rue and all other kinds of garden herbs, but you neglect justice and the love of God. You should have practiced the latter without leaving the former undone” (Luke 11:42).
Isolation: Instead of honoring family bonds, community obligations, and the importance of friendship, abusive leaders teach that these relationships will negatively influence the believer. Abusive leaders therefore encourage believers to minimize contact with family, friends, and the outside world. Such leaders also routinely excoriate the outside world as a place of egregious sin and temptation, lacking in anything positive and redeeming. Encouraging believers’ isolation enables the abusive leader to consolidate his power over his flock, removing possible challenges to his authority. Leaders with narcissistic, antisocial, and paranoid personality traits are most likely to engage in this form of religious abuse. God’s word makes plain that, for most believers, isolation from family and the world is not part of God’s plan: “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:7-8). “Honor your father and mother…” (Ephesians 6:2).
Elitism: Instead of practicing and teaching humility, abusive leaders are filled with false pride and teach believers to feel the same emotion. In such churches, the following belief ensues: “We’re the chosen ones! Everyone else is condemned!” This belief partially compensates for the shame and worthlessness that believers feel due to other experiences in the abusive church. In line with this elitism, abusive leaders insist that believers protect the church’s image at all costs. Hence, an atmosphere arises of secrecy and denial of error and sin in the church. Leaders with narcissistic, antisocial, and obsessive-compulsive personality traits are most likely to engage in this form of religious abuse. Christ’s words make plain that elitism has little place in his church: "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness” (Matthew 23:27-28).
Ensnarement: Instead of guiding their flock to Christian maturity, the methods of abusive leaders promote self-doubt, guilt, and identity confusion. Members are confused by the contradictions between what their conscience and reason tell them and what the leader is teaching them. This ambivalence, joined with fear of condemnation and loss of direction and fellowship, make it difficult and painful for believers to leave abusive churches. Abusive leaders may work deliberately to create this interior conflict in church members, because the interior conflict weakens members’ clarity and resolve and thereby strengthens the leaders’ grip on them. Leaders with narcissistic, antisocial, borderline, paranoid, and obsessive-compulsive personality traits are most likely to engage in this form of religious abuse. God’s word makes plain that ensnarement and entrapment have little place in the church: “The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit” (John 3:8). “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free” (Galatians 5:1).
It is easy to remember and conceptualize religious abuse if one considers that religious abuse, at its most extreme, resembles a cult. A religiously abusive church, like a cult, has departed substantially from accurate Biblical teaching and become dependent on the authoritarian rule of a single leader. It has become a house of idolatry where God is no longer worshipped because He has been displaced by the leader and the leader’s errant teachings. “Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth? That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you. A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough… Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees…” (Galatians 5:7-10, Matthew 16:6).
Although the features of religious abuse may occur in a counseling setting, in such settings religious abuse is typically less severe when compared to church settings. There are several constraints on religious abuse in the counseling domain. First, because of their psychotherapeutic training, counselors tend to be client-centered, to prioritize listening over speaking, and take pains to respect clients’ personal beliefs and choices. Counselors are therefore less apt to demand that clients accept only the counselors’ perceptions and beliefs. Second, counselors do not generally command the same degree of authority as church leaders, because counseling is not usually seen as conveying the authority of God. Third, counseling relationships are short-term and readily terminated, while church membership may be seen as a lifetime or family-wide commitment. Finally, termination of counseling does not entail separation from family and friends, but leaving a church may indeed have this implication.
Assessing Religious Abuse
Religious abuse must be assessed carefully. When clients themselves define their religious experiences as abusive, counselor intervention can follow. However, when clients fail to recognize the potential religious abuse in their backgrounds, counselors must proceed with caution:
Counselors are bound ethically to respect adult clients’ religious preferences. Defining a client’s religious background as abusive when the client does not agree risks undue interference with the client’s rights to free religious choice. Because different people experience similar events differently, seemingly abusive religious experiences may not be traumatic for everyone who has lived through them. Nevertheless, counselor authenticity, integrity, and responsibility compel an exploration with clients of the possibility that they have been subject to religious abuse. It is useful to coach clients in identifying and describing their potentially abusive experiences so that they can draw their own informed conclusions.
It is best to rely on an objective definition of religious abuse. Most healthcare professionals agree that religious abuse has definitively occurred when the experience has led to serious and diagnosable behavioral, cognitive, emotional, or mental disorders. Unless this criterion is met, it would be imprudent to use the word “abuse” to describe a client’s religious background.
When a reasonable suspicion exists that a minor has been or is currently subject to religious abuse according to the definition above, healthcare providers and pastors must report this abuse to the appropriate state child protective agency as a form of emotional/mental abuse.
Because of the implications when religious abuse has been documented, it can be helpful to rely on objective assessment tools. Remuda has developed a psychometrically valid and reliable questionnaire that can be employed in this assessment: the Remuda Spiritual Assessment Questionnaire. This questionnaire includes a factor score that measures religiously abusive experiences. It is short, easy to use, with either paper-and-pencil or computerized administration. Remuda offers this instrument free of charge to healthcare professionals (www.remudaranch.com).
Common problems to assess for in individuals who have lived through religious abuse include:
Feelings of worthlessness instead of a sense of personal dignity and self-respect
Need for control instead of healthy surrender and trust in God
Shame instead of self-acceptance
Excessive and unremitting guilt instead of forgiveness
Hopelessness instead of optimism
Fear of punishment instead of assurance of God’s love
Rigid morality and legalism instead of grace and unconditional love
Fear of intimacy instead of belonging and authenticity
Addictions instead of adaptive coping
Expectations of betrayal and mistrust instead of trusted relationships
Poor boundaries instead of healthy boundaries
Spiritual confusion instead of clarity about the Gospel and God’s love
Possible distance or separation from family instead of family support
Loss over wasted years instead of meaning and purpose
For more details on spiritual assessment, see the companion article in this issue of The Remuda Review, Spiritual Assessment and Treatment Strategies.
It is not possible in this short article to lay out detailed instructions for treating survivors of religious abuse. Useful information and resources regarding treatment can be found in the companion article, Spiritual Assessment and Treatment Strategies, in the current issue of The Remuda Review, as well as in the materials listed under Resources below.
Resources
Churches that Abuse by Ronald M. Enroth
Damaged Disciples by Ron & Vicki Burks
Faith That Hurts/Faith That Heals by Stephen Arterburn & Jack Felton
Healing Spiritual Abuse by Ken Blue
Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw
Recovering from Churches that Abuse by Ronald M. Enroth
Searching For A God To Love by Chris Blake
Stealing Jesus by Bruce Bawer
Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by David Johnson & Jeff VanVonderen
Tired of Trying to Measure Up by Jeff VanVonderen
Toxic Faith by Steve Arterburn
Twisted Scriptures by Mary A. Chrnalogar, Paul M. Howey, & Stephen D. Martin
Understanding Difficult Scriptures in a Healing Way by Dennis Linn, Sheila Fabricant Linn, & Matthew Linn
References
1996. The Holy Bible (King James Version). New York: Alfred A. Knopf.
1977. The Holy Bible (New American Standard). Anaheim, CA: Lockman Foundation.
Millon, T., Millon, C.M., Meagher, S., Grossman, S., & Ramnath, R. (2004). Personality Disorders in Modern Life (2nd Ed.). Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons
Finding a Healthy Church Community
Marian C. Eberly, RN, MSW, LCSW, DAPA
Division of Patient Care Services
Remuda Ranch Programs for Anorexia and Bulimia
How do Christians find a healthy church to worship in? This is not a new question. It’s age old. It is predicated on a basic assumption: churches are intended to be healthy communities. In the course of spiritual assessment with patients, it is not unusual to encounter those who have struggled with this concern. They often request guidance on a basic issue: What does a healthy church look like?
Identifying a healthy church can be difficult, because churches are made up of hurting, broken people. In some ways, churches are magnets for those who have been hurt, are hurting, or will hurt in the future. And there are two sides to this coin: it has been said that “hurting people hurt people”. It is important to emphasize, then, that a healthy church does not and cannot mean a church composed of only healthy people. Health in a church is something different altogether.
Consider the earliest church: in the second chapter of Acts, seven weeks after Jesus had risen from the dead, He gave the gift of the Holy Spirit to his church—to instruct, guide, equip, comfort, and empower them (Acts 1,1 Corinthians 12, Romans 12). And shortly thereafter we read of the earliest church:
They joined with the other believers and devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, sharing in the Lord’s Supper and in prayer… They worshipped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity—all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their group those who were being saved. (Acts 2:42, 46-47, New Living Translation; NLT)
These Scriptures describe critical aspects of the earliest church—the very elements to look for when choosing a church today. Although today’s churches may have different callings and visions—e.g., some minister to the elderly or youth, others focus primarily on evangelism through specific forms of outreach—the Scripture in Acts 2 evidences four aspects of health in the Christian church which remain a model for us.
Healthy Churches: The Four Fs
Food. “They … devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching…” (Acts 2:42, NLT). After reflecting on this Scripture, when considering a particular faith community one must ask: Is the Bible—the Apostles’ teaching—treated with honor and respect? Is the Bible the centerpiece of what is taught? Are the Scriptures reverenced? Christ is the head of the church (Colossians 1:18). His Word—the Bible—is therefore key. “The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life” (John 6:63). We are told that “all Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives” (2 Timothy 3:16, NLT). One must therefore ask of a particular church: Is the Bible accepted as the authoritative word of God? Is the Bible the instrument that the pastor uses to teach from? Are the church members being fed “real food” (John 6:55)?
One must also ask whether the substance of the Apostles’ teaching, the Gospel, is practiced in a particular community, for this, too, is spiritual food. Christ reveals: “‘My food … is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work…And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all that he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day.’” (John 4:34; 6:39-40). We should then ask of each church: In addition to honoring the Bible, is there a loving concern for those who do not know Christ, shown in ways that are not punitive or harsh, but gentle and caring, with opportunities for those who may not yet know Christ to learn about Him in an accessible, non-judgmental way? Simply put—is the Gospel preached, and its truth spoken in love (Ephesians 4:15)? For this is the substance of “devoting oneself to the Apostles’ teaching”—not just hearing the words, but being doers thereof (James 1:23). This is food for the soul, and promotes its growth.
Fellowship. “They … devoted themselves to … fellowship, sharing the Lord’s Supper and … prayer” (Acts 2:42, NLT). The church is about a common love, a common life, a common longing—a koinonia, the New Testament Greek term for fellowship, which means eating out of the same pot. 1 John 3 (11,16-24) speaks of the love we have for one another in the body of Christ. 1 Corinthians 13 clarifies the expressions of that love. Fellowship is an essential part of Christian community. It implies relationships that encourage our walk with the Lord, and do not tempt us to be self-destructive or sin. It includes the safety to share our heart and pain with trust, receiving forgiveness and comfort rather than shame or pity. It is having someone come alongside us not to fix us, but to pray with us. It is being around other believers who not only love and accept us, but also equip us to be the people God intended us to be. It implies accountability. “…where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them" (Matthew 18:20). In his power and grace, the church community becomes a place where burdens and gifts are shared, wise counsel is offered, and people grow into the character of Christ because they love one another with his love and sharpen one another with his truth.
Since the church is often called “the body of Christ” then one can ask regarding it, what is a healthy body? The church is called the body many times throughout Scripture to help us understand the concept of purposeful, planned, harmonious, and integrated interaction with other Christians. “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 19:19).
There are many correlations between how we treat our own bodies, temples of the Holy Spirit (2 Corinthians 6:19), and how we treat others. When choosing a church, it is wise to reflect honestly on what we bring to it, and to evaluate what we contribute. How well do we care for the body, the church? Do we sustain it with our prayers and petitions, or criticize and tear it down? Do we have the pastor for lunch instead of over to lunch? Do we “make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:3)?
Fit. “They worshipped together at the temple each day…” (Acts 2:46, NLT, emphasis added). Finding a good fit in a place of worship can be more challenging than one might think. Today, there is a wide variety of churches to choose from, and each has stylistic, structural, doctrinal, and historical differences. Stylistically, one might prefer hymns, contemporary music, or liturgical forms of worship. It may be better to find a church that is compatible with one’s intuitive style, rather than trying to change a church’s current style and stirring up unneeded conflict. It is important to learn about church structure: how are decisions made, collectively or by a leadership board? Where one disagrees with the leadership structure, it may be prudent to keep looking. Doctrinal issues have split many churches. All believers should learn what is essential for them in the Christian faith, and learn not to quibble over non–essentials. If everything is important, nothing is important. Pray for discernment in this regard so that you do not find yourself needlessly arguing over doctrine and thus compromising Christ’s desire for churches to have unity (John 17:23). Finally, some may find that they are in a church for no other reason than history—this is where their family has been coming for generations. Yet, they may feel as if they are dying on the vine. Although family traditions and history matter, they must be weighed against the strong personal need to grow spiritually by finding a church in which one’s style and beliefs fit well.
I liken “fit” to wearing an outfit that you just feel good in… it’s comfortable. For some, it will be jeans and a sloppy shirt. For others, it’s a suit and tie. Be comfortable in your own skin. There is a reason God designed you this way rather than some other way. If you are not comfortable where you are worshipping, the small things can become big things and create problems and conflict that only serve to distract from what God desires to do in that place and through those people.
It is sad, but true, that for some their experiences of church raise the question: is the church a life-giving or a life-taking community? Some, whose church experiences may have been abusive, avoid reconnection with a church because of the pain they have suffered (see companion article, Religious Abuse, in this issue of The Remuda Review). However, even reasonably healthy churches have conflict. We must remember that churches consist of imperfect people, because the world consists of imperfect people. What matters is that the church ultimately deals with conflict in a healthy, thoughtful, Biblical, and healing manner (e.g., Sande, 1997). The conflict in regard to the care of widows in Acts 7 demonstrates that even the early Biblical church experienced conflict. It is noticeable that this conflict was not front and center in the life of the church. In short, when conflict occurs, it need not become the focal point of the church. A healthy church experiences conflict without losing its priorities or mission.
It is also important to recognize that the absence of conflict does not necessarily signal health in a church community. False unity, born of forced conformity, is often a feature of an abusive church rather than a healthy one.
Fruit. “They … devoted themselves to … prayer… shared their meals with great joy and generosity, all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their group those who were being saved”. (Acts 2:42,46-47, NLT). A sign that you are in the right church is when your life evidences good fruit (John 15:1-8). This is less about doing and more about a state of the heart. The New Testament life cannot be lived in isolation, because it is completely relational to God and others. We find ourselves serving God in particular ways that are compatible with our unique gifts, talents, and personality. And it is in this giving that we receive. “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:33). Serving God and others for the sheer joy it brings may be a new concept to many, but this is the attitude described of the New Testament church. There is a new sense of connectedness and commitment that was not there before. A precursor to experiencing fruitfulness in the life of the believer is being committed to Jesus Christ and his teachings. There is new fruit in one’s life: no longer a desire to sin but a desire to please God (1 John 3:21-24). This is evidence that the Holy Spirit lives in one’s heart. In this, one grows spiritually, and the fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control—becomes increasingly manifest in one’s maturing Christian character (Galatians 5:22-23).
A healthy church also evidences good fruit in its corporate activity—prayer for and among the members, service for and together with other members, service to the community, spiritual growth and maturation of the members and/or growth in the size of the church itself.
Conclusion. We often have expectations of our churches that are unrealistic. I once heard a pastor tell his congregation with tongue-in-cheek humor, “if you find the perfect church, don’t join it, because you’ll ruin it!”
He made the point well: there are no perfect churches because there are no perfect people. Instead of perfection, we do well to seek a church where grace is not only taught, but lived, and to build up this church by offering God’s grace liberally to the other members of this body to which we have been joined.
References
1996. The Holy Bible (New Living Translation). Wheaton, IL: Tyndale.
Sande, K. (1997). The peacemaker. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books.
We thank J. Mark Martin, Senior Pastor, Calvary Community Church, Phoenix, Arizona, for the conceptualization of the 4 Fs in a sermon given by him.
Next Issue: Self-Injurious Behavior and Eating Disorders
Spiritual Assessment and Treatment Strategies
Religious Abuse
Finding a Healthy Church Community
In the first issue of The Remuda Review, Fall 2002, we explained the basics of a scientifically-valid and Biblically-based bio-psycho-social-spiritual model of eating disorder conceptualization and treatment. Since that initial issue, we have journeyed, issue by issue, through this model, until the current publication, where we conclude our discussion of the spiritual aspect of eating disorders. The articles in the current issue offer practical guidance on spiritual assessment and treatment for use by counselors and pastors in hands-on clinical work.
Through a series of 11 issues, taken together, The Remuda Review has now articulated in detail how to approach eating disorder conceptualization and treatment within a bio-psycho-social-spiritual model. We hope this series of publications will prove to be a long-lasting and valuable resource foundation for those concerned with eating disorders.
Beginning with the next issue, expected during the Summer of 2005, The Remuda Review will begin a second series of issues focusing on critical co-occurring problems faced by eating disorder clients and their caregivers. We will begin this series with an issue focusing exclusively on self-harm behavior. We choose this as a starting point for two reasons. First, self-harm behavior has become an epidemic among eating disorder patients. Second, Remuda has developed cutting-edge interventions that have proven successful in dramatically reducing self-harm among eating disorder clients.
Editorial Staff
Spiritual Assessment and Treatment Strategies
Robert A. Darden, PhD
Department of Psychological Services
Remuda Ranch Programs for Anorexia and Bulimia
In recent years the healthcare community has come to recognize that spirituality plays a role in recovery from medical and mental illness and the promotion of physical and mental well-being (e.g., Gartner, Larson, & Allen, 1991; Gunderson, 2000; Larson, Swyers & McCullough, 1998; Levin, 1994; Worthington, Kurusu, McCullough, & Sandage, 1996). For example, Larson and colleagues reviewed 300 studies on the relationship between religious factors and psychopathology and found considerable evidence for a positive relationship between religious participation and mental well-being (Larson, Swyers, & McCullough, 1998). Equally important, healthcare recipients desire opportunities for their spiritual beliefs to be addressed by their providers. A 2000 Gallup poll found that 86% of Americans believe in God and an additional 8% believe in a higher power. Accordingly, surveys by USA Today and Time Magazine indicate that 2/3 of Americans would like their healthcare providers to address religion with them, and 1/2 even want their doctors to pray with them (Gunderson, 2000). In keeping with these data, treatment providers are becoming increasingly aware of the need to address patient spirituality (Hodge, 2001; Richards & Bergin, 1997).
Richards and Bergin (1997) suggest that a spiritual assessment should be part of a multi-model assessment with each patient. Consistent with its bio-psycho-social-spiritual model, Remuda has been incorporating careful spiritual assessment into its programs for many years. Richards and Bergin (1997) indicate that, in addition to traditional components of an assessment, healthcare providers do well to conduct a spiritual assessment through broad and ecumenical inquiries using language that is devoid of denominational terms and underpinnings. It is often useful to begin by obtaining information about patients’ spiritual beliefs and practices, along with religious participation. Other areas of inquiry to consider include congruency of patient’s lifestyle with their values, history of religious experiences and relationships, issues pertaining to shame, guilt, and performance, and the concept of forgiveness. Of course, information regarding patients’ willingness to address spiritual and religious issues should also be included. Then, depending on the information obtained during the initial assessment process, clinicians can proceed with more in-depth assessment if significant spiritual issues appear to be present with particular patients.
A spiritual assessment can also include objective measures. In fact, numerous measures of spirituality have been developed and can be found in the literature. However, many have theoretical and/or psychometric weaknesses (Hall, Tisdale, and Brokaw, 1994; Hill and Hood, 1999). Others are limited by a narrow scope of questions (e.g., Standard, Sandu, & Painter, 2000). Consequently, Remuda Ranch developed the Remuda Spiritual Assessment Questionnaire (RSAQ; Wall, Cumella, & Darden, 2003). The RSAQ represents a broad spectrum of clinically meaningful spiritual beliefs and experiences, fully addresses psychometric considerations in design features and in the demonstration of instrument reliability and validity, and can be used to assess spiritual growth and change through repeated administrations during the course of treatment. It is also relatively short and easy to administer: 41 questions, taking 10-15 minutes for the average patient to complete, and not requiring clinician involvement to administer. Scoring and interpretation are automated.
There are several advantages to using an objective assessment of patient spirituality. First, a properly selected objective assessment is comprehensive and thorough, reflecting more questions and domains of spirituality than it is possible to review quickly through face-to-face clinical assessment. As such, an objective assessment may have a greater likelihood of discovering areas of spiritual concern. Research suggests that, especially early in treatment, patients may be more likely to reveal difficult experiences through paper-and-pencil tests than in face-to-face interactions with clinicians. Finally, objective assessments are just that—objective. They reveal the extent to which specific issues are causing distress to an individual when compared with the “average” person. Thus, they may make it easier to determine how much attention a spiritual concern merits during time-limited therapy.
Remuda Spiritual Assessment Questionnaire
The lead developer of the RSAQ was a doctoral-level licensed psychologist with an additional Master’s Degree in theology and extensive clinical experience with spiritual integration. Others experienced in mental healthcare, including two additional doctoral-level licensed psychologists, also contributed. Combining the knowledge of these experts, a 41-question version of the RSAQ was designed to reflect the broad, multidimensional construct of spirituality plus three important dimensions of spirituality (see below).
Because 86% of the US population self-identifies as Christian (Kosmin & Lachman, 1993), the authors wrote questions to be most meaningful and conceptually appropriate to this large majority of Americans. The authors also believed it important to develop a questionnaire that any English-speaking person could use. As such, two versions of the RSAQ were developed. The Christian version includes such words as “Bible”, “Jesus Christ”, and “church”. A parallel, interfaith version uses words such as “spiritual texts”, “higher power”, and “religious service”.
Between 6/1/1999 and 6/30/2002, RSAQ data were collected from 1,905 mental health patients. A normative sample of 208 non-patient women and men also completed the RSAQ. A random sample of 50 individuals from the normative population were asked to complete a second RSAQ one week following their initial testing. Using these data, great attention was paid to item-selection, reliability demonstrated through item stability and internal consistency, and validity demonstrated through criterion-related, construct, convergent, and discriminant methods. For psychometric details, see Wall, Cumella, and Darden, 2003.
The RSAQ reflects the broad, multidimensional construct of spirituality, and examines three specific domains which have been found by the authors and their colleagues to be particularly relevant when working with thousands of mental health patients. As such, the RSAQ produces the following scores:
Total Spirituality Index, indicating either: a) overall spiritual well-being, including positive spiritual attitudes, beliefs, and experiences, or b) overall spiritual distress, including negative spiritual attitudes, beliefs, and experiences.
Current Spiritual Wellness, indicating either: a) current spiritual well-being, typically including intimacy with God and supportive spiritual relationships, meaningful spiritual practices, faith as a source of strength, a clear spiritual identity, the experience of spiritual joy, and a desire to grow spiritually, or b) spiritual distress, typically including distance from and disappointment with God, unsupportive spiritual relationships, meaningless or absent spiritual practices, a lack of spiritual joy, and little interest in growing spiritually.
Experiences of Shame and Judgment, indicating either: a) the extent to which patients have beliefs and experiences of an accepting, forgiving, and unconditionally loving God, as well as accepting and supportive relationships with other people, or b) beliefs and experiences of a judgmental and condemning God who does not easily forgive human frailty or weakness but expects perfect works before offering love, as well as stringent expectations and judgments from other people.
Past Spiritual Experiences, indicating either: a) childhood experiences of spiritual warmth, love, and grace in one’s family and place of worship, or b) childhood experiences of spiritual abuse and self-righteousness in one’s family and place of worship.
For each of these scales, spiritual distress may be mild, moderate, severe, or extreme.
The RSAQ has been useful at Remuda, in other facilities, and among outpatient practitioners in conducting spiritual assessments with patients, clients, and church members. Both scale scores and individual questions from the RSAQ can be used as part of treatment planning. It is not uncommon, for example, for eating disorder patients to score high on Experiences of Shame and Judgment. With this information available, treatment teams are better equipped to address the cluster of related issues—shame, forgiveness, grace, and the patient’s view of God as judgmental verses unconditionally loving and forgiving. Cognitive therapy may be combined with religious or spiritual interventions. For example, cognitive disputation of distressing beliefs, and the reframing of perceptual schemas, might be sought through reading and memorization of appropriately selected Scriptures (e.g., 1 John 1:9, Jeremiah 29:11). For more details on cognitive distortions common to patients with eating disorders, see Spiritual Development: Growing in God’s Love, appearing in the previous issue of The Remuda Review.
Treatment Strategies
Spiritual interventions are contraindicated when patients do not want them or are psychotic or delusional. If spiritual interventions are warranted, it is important to inform patients at the start of treatment that you may use spiritual interventions and to obtain their informed consent, in writing if possible. Spiritual interventions are most effective once time has allowed for the development of a trusting therapeutic relationship. It is always essential to work within a patient’s value framework. However, as Christian counselors we have an obligation to express the commonly understood, interdenominational Gospel truth, including Christ’s atoning sacrifice, forgiveness rather than punishment, and God’s unconditional, unmerited grace and love rather than legalism, performance, or the need for perfection.
Primary spiritual interventions for patients with eating disorders include:
Teaching spiritual concepts
Spiritual bibliotherapy
Prayer with patients
Spiritual imagery and meditation
Encouraging forgiveness
Referrals for spiritual counsel from pastors or spiritual directors
Encouraging involvement in a faith community
Cognitive restructuring focusing on: Self hatred or perfectionism as obstacles to receiving God’s love, The nature of God, A mature understanding of suffering, and Application of patients’ values to their own lives to reduce cognitive dissonance
Self-help groups, such as Christian Recovery International or Survivors of Spiritual Abuse, may also be recommended for patients emerging from backgrounds of religious abuse. As a part of treatment, it may be necessary to guide patients toward finding healthy faith communities. For more information on this process, see the companion article, Finding A Healthy Church, in the current issue of The Remuda Review.
References
Gallup, G. (2000). The Gallup Poll: Public Opinion 1999. Wilmington, DE: Scholarly Resources.
Gartner, J., Larson, D. B., & Allen, G. D. (1991). Religious commitment and mental health: A review of the empirical literature. Journal of Psychology and Theology, 19, 6-25.
Gundersen, L. (2000). Faith and healing. Annals of Internal Medicine, 132, 169-172.
Hall, T.W., Tisdale, T.C., & Brokaw, B.F. (1994). Assessment of religious dimensions in Christian clients: A review of selected instruments for research and clinical use. Journal of Psychology and Theology, 22, 395-422.
Hill, P.C. & Hood, R.W. (Eds.). (1999). Measures of religiosity. Birmingham, AL: Religious Education Press.
Hodge, D.R. (2001). Spiritual assessment: A review of major qualitative methods and a new framework for assessing spirituality. Social Work, 46, 203-214.
Kosmin, B.A., & Lachman, S.P. (1993). One nation under God: Religion in contemporary American society. New York: Harmony Books.
Larson D.B., Swyers, J.P., & McCullough, M.E. (Eds). (1998). Scientific Research on Spirituality and Health: A Consensus Report. Rockville, MD: National Institute for Healthcare Research.
Levin, J. S. (1994). Religion and health: Is there an association, is it valid, and is it causal? Social Science and Medicine, 38, 1475-1482. Richards, P.S., & Bergin, A.E. (1997). A spiritual strategy for counseling and psychotherapy. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
Standard, R.P., Sandhu, D.S., & Painter, L.C. (2000). Assessment of spirituality in counseling. Journal of Counseling and Development, 78, 204-210.
Wall, A.D., Cumella, E.J., & Darden, R.A. (2003). Remuda Spiritual Assessment Questionnaire Version 1.0. Wickenburg, AZ : Remuda Ranch Center for Anorexia and Bulimia, Inc.
Worthington, E. L., Kurusu, T. A., McCullough, M. E., & Sandage, S. J. (1996). Empirical research on religion and psychotherapeutic processes and outcomes: A 10-year review and research prospectus. Psychological Bulletin, 119, 448-487.
Religious Abuse
Edward J. Cumella, PhD
Department of Research and Education
Remuda Ranch Programs for Anorexia and Bulimia
Woe to the shepherds of Israel… You have not strengthened the weak or healed the sick or bound up the injured… You have ruled them harshly and brutally. Ezekiel 34:1-5
Religious abuse is as old as humankind. It first appeared in the garden of Eden when Satan twisted God’s words and persuaded Adam and Eve to listen to him rather than God. This primeval event epitomizes all religious abuse.
Religious abuse occurs across denominations, in non-denominational churches, and across faiths—Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, et al. It normally does not arise from the beliefs of any particular religion, but from the personality pathology of individual religious leaders. Those with certain Axis II features—particularly narcissistic, antisocial, obsessive-compulsive, borderline, paranoid, and histrionic—are at greatest risk of becoming religiously abusive toward those whom they lead. For more details on these personality disorders, see Millon et al. (2004). Leaders with these personality issues have serious emotional, relationship, and cognitive difficulties that engender a distorted understanding of the Bible, theology, and church relationships. The distortions can sometimes be so significant that church members are seriously harmed.
Christians believe that human beings literally have a spirit—an aspect of our being that connects us to God. Religious abuse interferes with this connection. Religious abuse includes a range of actions by pastors, counselors, and other people that harm our relationship with God and/or separate us from him. Since human identity arises from knowing who we are in relation to God, religious abuse also harms our self-concept and sense of personal value. In addition, religious abuse often includes both mental and emotional abuse. In the most severe instances, it involves physical and sexual abuse rationalized by the abuser as God’s will through distorted interpretations of Scripture or sacred texts.
For those who may not believe in the existence of a literal human spirit, religious abuse can be readily conceptualized in terms of the clear emotional and mental abuse which it inevitably entails, as well as any physical or sexual abuse present in the most extreme instances.
Victims of religious abuse can suffer profound, negative consequences. As such, religious abuse can be a legitimate focus of care for counselors or pastors. It is important to note that religious abuse often includes acts—such as the mental, emotional, physical, and sexual abuse, or even neglect, of children—that professionals are legally bound to report to state child protection agencies. Where religious abusers are themselves licensed or certified counselors or pastors, professionals should also report the abuser’s actions to licensing boards or church and denominational oversight authorities.
For various reasons, religious abuse is usually more serious in churches than counseling settings. Pastors, ministers, priests, and other church leaders are typically regarded with high degrees of respect, even reverence, and may wield substantial authority in believers’ lives. Church leaders offer authoritative teachings covering issues critical to daily life—e.g., marriage, sexuality, relationships, finances, childrearing. Churches are also communities in which membership offers an experience of belonging, fellowship, and support. Along with these benefits comes social pressure. If abuse takes places in this context, many aspects of a person’s life can be negatively impacted. As such, this article primarily considers religious abuse in a church context.
The Bible teaches us about religious abuse. Perhaps the most important passages appear in Matthew 23 and Luke 11, where Jesus issues a series of “woes” to the Pharisees—religious leaders of his time. In many ways, the Pharisees are paragons of the religiously abusive leader. Their behavior evidences Axis II features.
Religious abuse is best understood as a continuum. Some churches may be virtually free of religious abuse; others may be occasionally and mildly abusive; still others may abuse their members frequently and with great intensity. The subjective experience of religious abuse is also related to the mental and emotional functioning of each individual. Certain individuals—e.g., those with perfectionistic traits or prone to obsessions and compulsions, fear, and/or low self-esteem—are apt to interpret teachings legalistically or as condemnation. Others in the same church and hearing the same teachings might not experience trauma.
When we search the Bible, we find that religious abuse includes one or more of the following 12 features.
Authoritarianism: A subtle shift occurs in the messages of abusive leaders. Instead of urging believers to obey God, these leaders are so convinced that they are exercising God’s authority that they expect believers to obey them. Likewise, abusive leaders also fully expect that church leadership bodies and other associate ministers/pastors/deacons will fully support the leaders’ intentions instead of offering input and accountability. Accordingly, a Bible verse frequently repeated by religiously abusive leaders is Hebrews 13:17, “Obey your leaders and submit to their authority.” Leaders with narcissistic, antisocial, obsessive-compulsive, and paranoid personality traits are most likely to engage in this form of religious abuse. Christ’s words make plain that authoritarianism has little place in his church: "But you are not to be called 'Rabbi,' for you have only one Master and you are all brothers. And do not call anyone on earth 'father,' for you have one Father, and he is in heaven. Nor are you to be called 'teacher,' for you have one Teacher, the Christ. The greatest among you will be your servant. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted” (Matthew 23:8-12).
Coercion: Instead of honoring the personal freedom and conscience of believers, as God does, with teachings that convince the mind because of their Biblical accuracy and logic, abusive leaders will use any tactic at their disposal to coerce believers into disregarding their better judgment and meeting the leaders’ demands. Leaders with antisocial, narcissistic, and obsessive-compulsive personality traits are most likely to engage in this form of religious abuse. God’s word makes plain that coercion has little place in the church: “But the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. For some men, straying from these things, have turned aside to fruitless discussion, wanting to be teachers of the Law, even though they do not understand either what they are saying or the matters about which they make confident assertions” (1 Timothy 1:5-7; New American Standard).
Intimidation: Instead of offering Christ, whose yoke is easy and whose burden is light, and emphasizing the covenant of forgiveness, abusive leaders routinely threaten punishment, disfellowshipping, and excommunication, and raise the specter of eternal condemnation in an effort to force believers into submission and continued church membership. Leaders with narcissistic, antisocial, and paranoid personality traits are most likely to engage in this form of religious abuse. Christ’s words make plain that intimidation has little place in his church: “Woe to the shepherds of Israel… You have ruled them harshly and brutally” (Ezekiel 34:1-5).
Terrorism: Instead of inviting people to follow Christ with the Gospel of love, abusive leaders terrorize believers by manipulating their fears, shame, and guilt. They overemphasize that believers’ problems have arisen because of believers’ sins, without offering believers a corresponding message of redemption and deliverance through Christ. Leaders with narcissistic, antisocial, borderline, paranoid, histrionic, and obsessive-compulsive personality traits are most likely to engage in this form of religious abuse. Christ’s words make plain that terrorism has little place in his church: “Woe to the shepherds of Israel… You have not strengthened the weak or healed the sick or bound up the injured. You have not brought back the strays or searched for the lost…” (Ezekiel 34:1-5).
Condemnation: Instead of heeding Christ’s admonition, “judge not lest ye be judged,” abusive leaders make a point of condemning those who leave their church, outsiders, and whomever else they define as sinners. Such leaders teach that believers will join the ranks of the condemned if they deviate from the leaders’ teachings or leave the leaders’ church or denomination. Individual church members are scapegoated when problems arise in the church. Leaders with narcissistic, antisocial, borderline, paranoid, histrionic, and obsessive-compulsive personality traits are most likely to engage in this form of religious abuse. Christ’s words make plain that condemnation has little place in his church: "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:1-4).
Classism: Christ was no respecter of persons. Nevertheless, abusive leaders are preoccupied with power, promoting church hierarchy, referring to and treating people according to their titles and roles. Those lower on the hierarchy are taught that their needs are less important. Leaders with narcissistic, antisocial, and obsessive-compulsive personality traits are most likely to engage in this form of religious abuse. Christ’s words make plain that classism has little place in his church: "Woe to you Pharisees, because you love the most important seats in the synagogues and greetings in the marketplaces” (Luke 11:43). "Everything they do is done for men to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long; they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; they love to be greeted in the marketplaces and to have men call them 'Rabbi'” (Matthew 23:5-7).
Conformity: Abusive leaders usually exert the greatest influence over inexperienced, naïve, and dependent individuals who are seeking a strong leader. These individuals suppress their objections to the leader’s teachings for fear of being shamed or rejected by the leader or ostracized by the church community. Because of this self-censorship, abusive churches may appear unified. Yet there is often much discontent, anguish, whispering, and secrets hidden beneath the veneer of unity, with many members wanting to leave. Leaders with narcissistic, antisocial, paranoid, and obsessive-compulsive personality traits are most likely to engage in this form of religious abuse. Although true unity in the spirit is Christ’s will for his church—“May they be brought to complete unity” (John 17:23)—disagreements do occur. Scripture indicates that pastors must be confronted when their teachings deviate from sound Biblical doctrine: “When Peter came to Antioch, I (Paul) opposed him to his face, because he was clearly in the wrong” (Galatians 2:11-12).
Manipulation: Instead of interpreting the Bible with the Bible, according to long-held Christian beliefs, and in context, abusive leaders manipulate Scriptures so that they appear to endorse the leaders’ personal opinions. Leaders with narcissistic, antisocial, borderline, and paranoid personality traits are most likely to engage in this form of religious abuse. God’s word makes plain that manipulation of Scripture has little place in the church: "Woe to you experts in the law, because you have taken away the key to knowledge. You yourselves have not entered, and you have hindered those who were entering” (Luke 11:52). “…ignorant and unstable people distort … Scriptures, to their own destruction” (2 Peter 3:16).
Irrationality: Because abusive leaders twist the Scriptures, their various interpretations of Scripture may contradict one another. Interpretations may even contradict reason and reality. To remain in such churches, members must suspend critical thinking. Some abusive leaders claim to receive messages directly from God about their church or individual members. These messages usually diverge from Scripture and reality. Some engage in a self-proclaimed “healing ministry,” where church members are pressured into dramatic confessions of sin and professions of deliverance that are highly exaggerated and have little lasting effect in believers’ lives. Leaders with narcissistic, antisocial, borderline, paranoid, and histrionic personality traits are most likely to engage in this form of religious abuse. God’s word makes plain that irrationality has little place in the church: “For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints” (1 Corinthians 14:33; King James Version).
Legalism: Abusive leaders do not extend much grace. Instead, they communicate that one’s value and the amount of love one should receive depend on performance and position in the church. As such, abusive leaders expect church members to make extreme sacrifices of money, time, and energy for the church. Leaders with antisocial, borderline, paranoid, and obsessive-compulsive personality traits are most likely to engage in this form of religious abuse. Christ’s words make plain that legalism has little place in his church: "Woe to you Pharisees, because you give God a tenth of your mint, rue and all other kinds of garden herbs, but you neglect justice and the love of God. You should have practiced the latter without leaving the former undone” (Luke 11:42).
Isolation: Instead of honoring family bonds, community obligations, and the importance of friendship, abusive leaders teach that these relationships will negatively influence the believer. Abusive leaders therefore encourage believers to minimize contact with family, friends, and the outside world. Such leaders also routinely excoriate the outside world as a place of egregious sin and temptation, lacking in anything positive and redeeming. Encouraging believers’ isolation enables the abusive leader to consolidate his power over his flock, removing possible challenges to his authority. Leaders with narcissistic, antisocial, and paranoid personality traits are most likely to engage in this form of religious abuse. God’s word makes plain that, for most believers, isolation from family and the world is not part of God’s plan: “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:7-8). “Honor your father and mother…” (Ephesians 6:2).
Elitism: Instead of practicing and teaching humility, abusive leaders are filled with false pride and teach believers to feel the same emotion. In such churches, the following belief ensues: “We’re the chosen ones! Everyone else is condemned!” This belief partially compensates for the shame and worthlessness that believers feel due to other experiences in the abusive church. In line with this elitism, abusive leaders insist that believers protect the church’s image at all costs. Hence, an atmosphere arises of secrecy and denial of error and sin in the church. Leaders with narcissistic, antisocial, and obsessive-compulsive personality traits are most likely to engage in this form of religious abuse. Christ’s words make plain that elitism has little place in his church: "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness” (Matthew 23:27-28).
Ensnarement: Instead of guiding their flock to Christian maturity, the methods of abusive leaders promote self-doubt, guilt, and identity confusion. Members are confused by the contradictions between what their conscience and reason tell them and what the leader is teaching them. This ambivalence, joined with fear of condemnation and loss of direction and fellowship, make it difficult and painful for believers to leave abusive churches. Abusive leaders may work deliberately to create this interior conflict in church members, because the interior conflict weakens members’ clarity and resolve and thereby strengthens the leaders’ grip on them. Leaders with narcissistic, antisocial, borderline, paranoid, and obsessive-compulsive personality traits are most likely to engage in this form of religious abuse. God’s word makes plain that ensnarement and entrapment have little place in the church: “The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit” (John 3:8). “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free” (Galatians 5:1).
It is easy to remember and conceptualize religious abuse if one considers that religious abuse, at its most extreme, resembles a cult. A religiously abusive church, like a cult, has departed substantially from accurate Biblical teaching and become dependent on the authoritarian rule of a single leader. It has become a house of idolatry where God is no longer worshipped because He has been displaced by the leader and the leader’s errant teachings. “Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth? That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you. A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough… Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees…” (Galatians 5:7-10, Matthew 16:6).
Although the features of religious abuse may occur in a counseling setting, in such settings religious abuse is typically less severe when compared to church settings. There are several constraints on religious abuse in the counseling domain. First, because of their psychotherapeutic training, counselors tend to be client-centered, to prioritize listening over speaking, and take pains to respect clients’ personal beliefs and choices. Counselors are therefore less apt to demand that clients accept only the counselors’ perceptions and beliefs. Second, counselors do not generally command the same degree of authority as church leaders, because counseling is not usually seen as conveying the authority of God. Third, counseling relationships are short-term and readily terminated, while church membership may be seen as a lifetime or family-wide commitment. Finally, termination of counseling does not entail separation from family and friends, but leaving a church may indeed have this implication.
Assessing Religious Abuse
Religious abuse must be assessed carefully. When clients themselves define their religious experiences as abusive, counselor intervention can follow. However, when clients fail to recognize the potential religious abuse in their backgrounds, counselors must proceed with caution:
Counselors are bound ethically to respect adult clients’ religious preferences. Defining a client’s religious background as abusive when the client does not agree risks undue interference with the client’s rights to free religious choice. Because different people experience similar events differently, seemingly abusive religious experiences may not be traumatic for everyone who has lived through them. Nevertheless, counselor authenticity, integrity, and responsibility compel an exploration with clients of the possibility that they have been subject to religious abuse. It is useful to coach clients in identifying and describing their potentially abusive experiences so that they can draw their own informed conclusions.
It is best to rely on an objective definition of religious abuse. Most healthcare professionals agree that religious abuse has definitively occurred when the experience has led to serious and diagnosable behavioral, cognitive, emotional, or mental disorders. Unless this criterion is met, it would be imprudent to use the word “abuse” to describe a client’s religious background.
When a reasonable suspicion exists that a minor has been or is currently subject to religious abuse according to the definition above, healthcare providers and pastors must report this abuse to the appropriate state child protective agency as a form of emotional/mental abuse.
Because of the implications when religious abuse has been documented, it can be helpful to rely on objective assessment tools. Remuda has developed a psychometrically valid and reliable questionnaire that can be employed in this assessment: the Remuda Spiritual Assessment Questionnaire. This questionnaire includes a factor score that measures religiously abusive experiences. It is short, easy to use, with either paper-and-pencil or computerized administration. Remuda offers this instrument free of charge to healthcare professionals (www.remudaranch.com).
Common problems to assess for in individuals who have lived through religious abuse include:
Feelings of worthlessness instead of a sense of personal dignity and self-respect
Need for control instead of healthy surrender and trust in God
Shame instead of self-acceptance
Excessive and unremitting guilt instead of forgiveness
Hopelessness instead of optimism
Fear of punishment instead of assurance of God’s love
Rigid morality and legalism instead of grace and unconditional love
Fear of intimacy instead of belonging and authenticity
Addictions instead of adaptive coping
Expectations of betrayal and mistrust instead of trusted relationships
Poor boundaries instead of healthy boundaries
Spiritual confusion instead of clarity about the Gospel and God’s love
Possible distance or separation from family instead of family support
Loss over wasted years instead of meaning and purpose
For more details on spiritual assessment, see the companion article in this issue of The Remuda Review, Spiritual Assessment and Treatment Strategies.
It is not possible in this short article to lay out detailed instructions for treating survivors of religious abuse. Useful information and resources regarding treatment can be found in the companion article, Spiritual Assessment and Treatment Strategies, in the current issue of The Remuda Review, as well as in the materials listed under Resources below.
Resources
Churches that Abuse by Ronald M. Enroth
Damaged Disciples by Ron & Vicki Burks
Faith That Hurts/Faith That Heals by Stephen Arterburn & Jack Felton
Healing Spiritual Abuse by Ken Blue
Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw
Recovering from Churches that Abuse by Ronald M. Enroth
Searching For A God To Love by Chris Blake
Stealing Jesus by Bruce Bawer
Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by David Johnson & Jeff VanVonderen
Tired of Trying to Measure Up by Jeff VanVonderen
Toxic Faith by Steve Arterburn
Twisted Scriptures by Mary A. Chrnalogar, Paul M. Howey, & Stephen D. Martin
Understanding Difficult Scriptures in a Healing Way by Dennis Linn, Sheila Fabricant Linn, & Matthew Linn
References
1996. The Holy Bible (King James Version). New York: Alfred A. Knopf.
1977. The Holy Bible (New American Standard). Anaheim, CA: Lockman Foundation.
Millon, T., Millon, C.M., Meagher, S., Grossman, S., & Ramnath, R. (2004). Personality Disorders in Modern Life (2nd Ed.). Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons
Finding a Healthy Church Community
Marian C. Eberly, RN, MSW, LCSW, DAPA
Division of Patient Care Services
Remuda Ranch Programs for Anorexia and Bulimia
How do Christians find a healthy church to worship in? This is not a new question. It’s age old. It is predicated on a basic assumption: churches are intended to be healthy communities. In the course of spiritual assessment with patients, it is not unusual to encounter those who have struggled with this concern. They often request guidance on a basic issue: What does a healthy church look like?
Identifying a healthy church can be difficult, because churches are made up of hurting, broken people. In some ways, churches are magnets for those who have been hurt, are hurting, or will hurt in the future. And there are two sides to this coin: it has been said that “hurting people hurt people”. It is important to emphasize, then, that a healthy church does not and cannot mean a church composed of only healthy people. Health in a church is something different altogether.
Consider the earliest church: in the second chapter of Acts, seven weeks after Jesus had risen from the dead, He gave the gift of the Holy Spirit to his church—to instruct, guide, equip, comfort, and empower them (Acts 1,1 Corinthians 12, Romans 12). And shortly thereafter we read of the earliest church:
They joined with the other believers and devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, sharing in the Lord’s Supper and in prayer… They worshipped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity—all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their group those who were being saved. (Acts 2:42, 46-47, New Living Translation; NLT)
These Scriptures describe critical aspects of the earliest church—the very elements to look for when choosing a church today. Although today’s churches may have different callings and visions—e.g., some minister to the elderly or youth, others focus primarily on evangelism through specific forms of outreach—the Scripture in Acts 2 evidences four aspects of health in the Christian church which remain a model for us.
Healthy Churches: The Four Fs
Food. “They … devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching…” (Acts 2:42, NLT). After reflecting on this Scripture, when considering a particular faith community one must ask: Is the Bible—the Apostles’ teaching—treated with honor and respect? Is the Bible the centerpiece of what is taught? Are the Scriptures reverenced? Christ is the head of the church (Colossians 1:18). His Word—the Bible—is therefore key. “The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life” (John 6:63). We are told that “all Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives” (2 Timothy 3:16, NLT). One must therefore ask of a particular church: Is the Bible accepted as the authoritative word of God? Is the Bible the instrument that the pastor uses to teach from? Are the church members being fed “real food” (John 6:55)?
One must also ask whether the substance of the Apostles’ teaching, the Gospel, is practiced in a particular community, for this, too, is spiritual food. Christ reveals: “‘My food … is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work…And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all that he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day.’” (John 4:34; 6:39-40). We should then ask of each church: In addition to honoring the Bible, is there a loving concern for those who do not know Christ, shown in ways that are not punitive or harsh, but gentle and caring, with opportunities for those who may not yet know Christ to learn about Him in an accessible, non-judgmental way? Simply put—is the Gospel preached, and its truth spoken in love (Ephesians 4:15)? For this is the substance of “devoting oneself to the Apostles’ teaching”—not just hearing the words, but being doers thereof (James 1:23). This is food for the soul, and promotes its growth.
Fellowship. “They … devoted themselves to … fellowship, sharing the Lord’s Supper and … prayer” (Acts 2:42, NLT). The church is about a common love, a common life, a common longing—a koinonia, the New Testament Greek term for fellowship, which means eating out of the same pot. 1 John 3 (11,16-24) speaks of the love we have for one another in the body of Christ. 1 Corinthians 13 clarifies the expressions of that love. Fellowship is an essential part of Christian community. It implies relationships that encourage our walk with the Lord, and do not tempt us to be self-destructive or sin. It includes the safety to share our heart and pain with trust, receiving forgiveness and comfort rather than shame or pity. It is having someone come alongside us not to fix us, but to pray with us. It is being around other believers who not only love and accept us, but also equip us to be the people God intended us to be. It implies accountability. “…where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them" (Matthew 18:20). In his power and grace, the church community becomes a place where burdens and gifts are shared, wise counsel is offered, and people grow into the character of Christ because they love one another with his love and sharpen one another with his truth.
Since the church is often called “the body of Christ” then one can ask regarding it, what is a healthy body? The church is called the body many times throughout Scripture to help us understand the concept of purposeful, planned, harmonious, and integrated interaction with other Christians. “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 19:19).
There are many correlations between how we treat our own bodies, temples of the Holy Spirit (2 Corinthians 6:19), and how we treat others. When choosing a church, it is wise to reflect honestly on what we bring to it, and to evaluate what we contribute. How well do we care for the body, the church? Do we sustain it with our prayers and petitions, or criticize and tear it down? Do we have the pastor for lunch instead of over to lunch? Do we “make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:3)?
Fit. “They worshipped together at the temple each day…” (Acts 2:46, NLT, emphasis added). Finding a good fit in a place of worship can be more challenging than one might think. Today, there is a wide variety of churches to choose from, and each has stylistic, structural, doctrinal, and historical differences. Stylistically, one might prefer hymns, contemporary music, or liturgical forms of worship. It may be better to find a church that is compatible with one’s intuitive style, rather than trying to change a church’s current style and stirring up unneeded conflict. It is important to learn about church structure: how are decisions made, collectively or by a leadership board? Where one disagrees with the leadership structure, it may be prudent to keep looking. Doctrinal issues have split many churches. All believers should learn what is essential for them in the Christian faith, and learn not to quibble over non–essentials. If everything is important, nothing is important. Pray for discernment in this regard so that you do not find yourself needlessly arguing over doctrine and thus compromising Christ’s desire for churches to have unity (John 17:23). Finally, some may find that they are in a church for no other reason than history—this is where their family has been coming for generations. Yet, they may feel as if they are dying on the vine. Although family traditions and history matter, they must be weighed against the strong personal need to grow spiritually by finding a church in which one’s style and beliefs fit well.
I liken “fit” to wearing an outfit that you just feel good in… it’s comfortable. For some, it will be jeans and a sloppy shirt. For others, it’s a suit and tie. Be comfortable in your own skin. There is a reason God designed you this way rather than some other way. If you are not comfortable where you are worshipping, the small things can become big things and create problems and conflict that only serve to distract from what God desires to do in that place and through those people.
It is sad, but true, that for some their experiences of church raise the question: is the church a life-giving or a life-taking community? Some, whose church experiences may have been abusive, avoid reconnection with a church because of the pain they have suffered (see companion article, Religious Abuse, in this issue of The Remuda Review). However, even reasonably healthy churches have conflict. We must remember that churches consist of imperfect people, because the world consists of imperfect people. What matters is that the church ultimately deals with conflict in a healthy, thoughtful, Biblical, and healing manner (e.g., Sande, 1997). The conflict in regard to the care of widows in Acts 7 demonstrates that even the early Biblical church experienced conflict. It is noticeable that this conflict was not front and center in the life of the church. In short, when conflict occurs, it need not become the focal point of the church. A healthy church experiences conflict without losing its priorities or mission.
It is also important to recognize that the absence of conflict does not necessarily signal health in a church community. False unity, born of forced conformity, is often a feature of an abusive church rather than a healthy one.
Fruit. “They … devoted themselves to … prayer… shared their meals with great joy and generosity, all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their group those who were being saved”. (Acts 2:42,46-47, NLT). A sign that you are in the right church is when your life evidences good fruit (John 15:1-8). This is less about doing and more about a state of the heart. The New Testament life cannot be lived in isolation, because it is completely relational to God and others. We find ourselves serving God in particular ways that are compatible with our unique gifts, talents, and personality. And it is in this giving that we receive. “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:33). Serving God and others for the sheer joy it brings may be a new concept to many, but this is the attitude described of the New Testament church. There is a new sense of connectedness and commitment that was not there before. A precursor to experiencing fruitfulness in the life of the believer is being committed to Jesus Christ and his teachings. There is new fruit in one’s life: no longer a desire to sin but a desire to please God (1 John 3:21-24). This is evidence that the Holy Spirit lives in one’s heart. In this, one grows spiritually, and the fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control—becomes increasingly manifest in one’s maturing Christian character (Galatians 5:22-23).
A healthy church also evidences good fruit in its corporate activity—prayer for and among the members, service for and together with other members, service to the community, spiritual growth and maturation of the members and/or growth in the size of the church itself.
Conclusion. We often have expectations of our churches that are unrealistic. I once heard a pastor tell his congregation with tongue-in-cheek humor, “if you find the perfect church, don’t join it, because you’ll ruin it!”
He made the point well: there are no perfect churches because there are no perfect people. Instead of perfection, we do well to seek a church where grace is not only taught, but lived, and to build up this church by offering God’s grace liberally to the other members of this body to which we have been joined.
References
1996. The Holy Bible (New Living Translation). Wheaton, IL: Tyndale.
Sande, K. (1997). The peacemaker. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books.
We thank J. Mark Martin, Senior Pastor, Calvary Community Church, Phoenix, Arizona, for the conceptualization of the 4 Fs in a sermon given by him.
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